Thanks for sharing your story here. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. YEAH? I recently lost a good friend to suicide. He recovered physically, but mentally he is now depressed and on anti-depressants,has anxiety attacks, is too emotional for working, and keeps saying he wishes he had succeeded with his attempt as he feels a burden to everyone. Try convincing someone like me that life is worth it. But what about people like me? The Golden Gate Bridge, which first opened in May 1937, was the most popular suicide site in the world during the documentary's filming, with approximately 1,200 deaths by 2003. I wanted to distance myself from it as much as I could so that people would leave me alone. It certainly sounds like your friends antidepressants are not working. I hope you can find peace within. Berkeley. West was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge onSept. 30, 2020 just before 7 a.m., according to the San Francisco Police Department. And its been a long term plan, for 35 years, but become refined in that time. I did find this website and it has so much information that I needed to read. My brother did the same in 2002. ive suffered depression for Years, 2 suicide attempts in 2008. The suicide barrier on the Sydney Harbour Bridge simply rerouted jumpers to a cliff popularly known as The Gap. In the 1970s, a researcher named Richard Seiden wanted to find out what happened to 515 people who came to the Golden Gate Bridge to die within the previous 35 years, but who were stopped by California Highway Patrol officers. More women attempt suicide but more men complete it because men use more lethal methods. Lorraine Rhodes was destitute, and asked Show Folks of America to help pay for the funeral, which they did. I lost my boyfriend to suicide two years ago and I have not been able to forgive myself. If your child will play baseball or softball this spring, youll need to stock up on appropriate clothing and equipment. And these different medications can be combined at various dosages. Those two have shown some effectiveness at reducing suicidal ideation and behavior. 1998 - 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. | All Rights Reserved. Sydney West Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. I hope you believe your words here, or at least are beginning to. I supported her desire to stop taking her medication. I inherited two guns from my Dad, and I will take possession of them this month. My failure as a person was responsible for my extreme step. I use to hate her for wanting to leave me, got diagnosed w depression at 15 have done so many therapy sessions. Wests parents said they have now hired a private investigator who is working with the San Francisco Police Department and Orange County (North Carolina) Sheriffs Department. Email: Andrew.Chamings@sfgate.com | Twitter: @AndrewChamings. January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM Thats simply not true, but it took stepping outside my beliefs, becoming teachable and following the leads of others to find a life worth living. She failed at killing herself and learned a different process of questions to see her feelings. But it was my final stay at a state mental hospital when I began reading a book that finally spoke to me: Dying for a Drink, and for the first time in my life I recognized the fact that I was an alcoholic and that I had been treating major depression with a depressant. My reason to live is so I dont hurt people who care but what if you have no one who cares there was a time I had no one it was only my stupidity that got the hospital aware of my attempt. She was last seen September 30, 2020, from the San Francisco area near the Golden Gate Bridge specifically around Crissy field. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. And they did for the Hollywood stuntmans attempt to sail off the Golden Gate Bridge on Feb. 6, 1948. Im sorry youre feeling so bad that your suicide seems, to you, to be inevitable. Dialectical behavior therapy? Public File for KBCW-TV / KBCW 44 Cable 12. Wishing you peace, I am both, not realizing this until reading today My dad ended his life by his own hands , when I was 9. Have you read Whats In the Way Is the Way by Mary OMalley? Her father grew worried when she didnt call the next day the day she was last spotted in San Francisco. How many of the survivors were so injured by the attempt that they were unable to complete the act? If you want to talk with someone immediately by phone, text, or chat, please check out the Resources page. I guess I have started to realize its not my faultits no ones fault when a loved one commits suicide. She was, for a period of time, carrying a black backpack that she frequently used to get around town. She talked to herfather on the phone the day before shewent missing. Interviews with jump survivors and potential jumpers . So there are many, many more medications and medication combinations that he can try. The chances of surviving. While in Australia she started blogging about beginning to experience bouts of depression on top of her anxiety. 19-year-old Sydney West was last seen Sept. 30. They're asking anyone "who may have been walking, biking, running, who commute over the bridge particularly Wednesday mornings at that time" to share information. I love to see that in the Comments section; I find it beautiful when people can connect in this way and, even more, when someone can tell another person what they havent believed for themselves. On average, 30 people or more die from suicide here each year. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. West returned to the Bay Area as a University of California, Berkeley student, where she studied until recently, San Francisco police said when she was first reported missing. She was said to be very close with her family. In February 2009, following the murder of a four-year-old girl who was thrown off the bridge by her father, the first stage of a temporary suicide barrier was erected on Westgate Bridge, constructed of concrete crash barriers topped with a welded mesh fence. West returned to the Bay Area for college at UC Berkeley after her family moved from Pleasanton to North Carolina several years ago. All theses years following, I did not feel good about myself, am reunited with my nephew, reading up on how to talk to him. Female Representation In The Tech And Startup World: UC Berkeley, Berkeley Asks Residents To Provide Input On Wildfire Response, American Tulip Day & Free, U-Pick-Tulips 2023: Union Square, San Francisco, Rotary Club's Drive-Thru Crab & Pasta Feed 2023: Orinda. He already had refused to get help or to stop drinking. Part of Audacy. You provide inspiration to others who still are stuck in that hopelessness and despair. Rhodes also made the news in 1946 on a radio program called Truth or Consequences in which he was bizarrely tasked with living on a traffic island on the corner of Hollywood Boulevard and La Brea for three weeks. According to Find Sydney West, there is a $25,000 reward for information that leads to finding Syd, who is described as 5'10 tall and about 130 pounds with blue eyes and blonde hair. Rhodes press agent, Susan Todd, told reporters that Dusty had painstakingly calculated the speed of his fall, how he would hit the water and other details, as he did when he prepared for his movie stunts. He traveled from L.A. to San Francisco days before the jump to prepare, and holed up in the Grand Southern Hotel on Mission Street with his cameraman to wait for a clear day so the footage would look beautiful when it was watched on news channels from coast to coast. I know there will be a lot of people out there who will think a certain thing happened to Sydney. Many self harm injuries, stitches. And for most of those whose lives were saved, life goes on for many more years to come. In fact, the increase in suicides at other locations in Toronto did not make up for the dramatic decrease in suicides at the viaduct itself. Im afraid to try again and it just adds for anger, desperation, loss of control over my own life and guilt for those in my life who have to worry. Anyone with information about Sydneys whereabouts is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek by texting or calling 925-705-8328. To request removal of your name from an arrest report, submit these required items to arrestreports@patch.com. In 2013, 118 potential jumpers were talked down from their attempts and did not jump. Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge suicide net, a coarse web of steel designed to catch and cradle people who jump, is two years behind . I am now 49, and I fantasize about suicide knowing I will never actually do it but wishing it was an option. My mother battled w depression I watched her battle hard all my life and still. Its unfair. We interviewed our tech expert, Jaime Vazquez, to learn more about accessible smart home devices. What happens to them afterward? Ive worked in Mental health, Ive lost a family member through suicide. Sydney is considered at risk due to depression, said SFPD Officer Robert Rueca to KRON4. West was in the Bay Area to take summer classes at UC Berkeley; she was supposed to enter school in the fall, but due to a concussion she sustained and classes being held remotely, she opted to defer for another year but stayed in California with family friends. Here I thought I just occasionally drank too much. After graduating high school in 2019, she decided to take a gap year in Australia. Maybe I didnt want to think he could actually do it. An estimated 1,600 people have committed suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, which has warnings but no barrier. Say someone wants to die by suicideso badly that they go to the Golden Gate Bridge to jump off. I worry almost everyday that Ill maim myself again and not die. We certainly do need to continue educating people about suicide prevention, including the reality that most people who survive a suicide attempt choose life afterwards. As his wife described, without the weighted boots to keep him upright, Rhodes' body arched forward, eventually meeting the water face-first. Missing person: The San Francisco Police Department is asking the public to report any information regarding 19-year-old Sydney West who was last seen on Sept. 30, 2020, at SF's Crissy Field. A good place to start is the Facebook group Live Through This. This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. Thats why I searched for answers and I found this site. Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting. We remain hopeful that someone knows something that will be helpful in finding her.. Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Golden Gate lacks a suicide barrier . I wish everyone could receive this gift, and I am grateful that you and others have done so! Too, people who attempt suicide may receive the help they need afterwards. All 29 people who survived their suicide attempts off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge have said they regretted their decision as soon as they jumped. Photos purchased from Fotolia.com. The four-second fall from the Golden Gate Bridge sends a person plunging . (findsydneywest.com) West was last seen on the morning of Sept. 30 on the iconic bridge. I often think that if we are going to make up what we tell ourselves about our future, we might at least make it good. I meant it, and I almost succeeded. The night before she disappeared (Sept. 29) she and her father Jay West had a lengthy phone conversation according to her family. When I will be talking to him, also sure helps me to see I am suicide attempt survivor. As well, though, I believe I may have accidentally given myself something like ECT. "This will be the biggest jump of my life," he told her. Saving Lives at the Golden Gate Bridge. Additionally, Hines takes medication and . America doesnt feed narcissistic people and men are more materialistic. On the morning of September 30, 2020, Sydney took a ride share service to the Golden Gate Bridge, where she often went to jog, practice yoga, and exercise in nearby Crissy Field. I wonder what psychotherapy he has tried. Any information could help so if you know anyone that was in that area around that time, please use contact information provided below. They lied about every imaginable factor of surviving in life. Has he tried cognitive behavior therapy? The Golden Gate Bridge came to be recognized as a symbol of the power and progress of the United States, and it set a precedent for suspension-bridge design around the world. "We have a lot of people that are asking us for information.". I am literally living day by day and full of guilt, regret and anger. And I got very drunk every time I drank after that, which was quite often. She replied, She probably figured she could fix you. This was the beginning of my recognition of the fact that I wasnt the horrible person I made myself out to be, in fact, my story is very much like a lot of alcoholics Ive met. It is true that suicide sometimes defies even the best efforts to thwart it. Both my son and I said we woud never consider it again, after that. I know you mean well, but I always feel I wished I never survived. The tragedy of suicide is indisputable. Sydney West is from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, but also grew up in the Pleasanton area. A jump off the Golden Gate Bridge takes around four seconds, during which a person will reach a speed of 80 mph before smashing into the water's surface like concrete. You can find a life worth living, too, if you set your mind to finding solutions. She took a ride-share service. After my attempt at suicide, I tried to find information about my feelings and what others were feeling. West was born in Walnut Creek and lived briefly in Castro Valley before her family moved to Pleasanton. He now works daily, and diligently, to manage continued symptoms that can include depression and hearing voices. Please enter valid email address to continue. Anyone in the Bay Area with any information regarding her disappearancecan contact Sgt. I still think about suicide, although not as often. Syd, Ive always loved you from the bottom of my heart, since the minute I saw your eyes open. West may have been wearing dark leggings, blue Vans shoes and a teal sweatshirt at the time of her disappearance. She struggled with being so far away from her parents and sister, who reside in North Carolina. We are going to keep looking.. Praying for you. So in a couple days with no vehicle no money and no job, Im just supposed to trudge on, because life is precious or whatever other placating device people Banty about? Leads continue to come in, her parents said. I wanted to talk with others in the same situation but I could understand how that may not be in the best interest of either party. There are far more narcissistic dads and men than there are women and mothers. For more information, please see our The Oscars will air on ABC and can be streamed on ABC.com and the ABC app as well as Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, AT&T TV or FuboTV. But overall, the evidence is that prevention is not simply a temporary delay of death. User account menu. In this clinical case conference, the authors begin by presenting vignettes to capture the diversity of bridge suicide. My hope for others feeling like that is they tell someone who can help them. I cant tell you how much of what you write touches me in some way. It amazes me that the vast majority of suicides are by men, and virtually all of the articles about it are by women. The four-second fall from the Golden Gate Bridge sends a person plunging 245 feet (75 m) at 75 miles per hour (121 km/h) to . A. Horrified spectators screamed and mothers covered their childrens eyes as Chief Sundowns lifeless body bobbed under the bridge and out to sea. Upon its completion in 1937, it was the tallest and longest suspension bridge in the world. Its impossible to know but something to consider, in case youre only considering the set of possibilities for which you blame yourself. Edit: FAQs https://findsydneywest.com/faq, https://www.pollyklaas.org/missing-children/sydney-west/, https://pleasantonweekly.com/news/2021/09/30/what-a-week-find-sydney-west, https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/searching-for-sydney-san-francisco-police-still-asking-for-publics-help/?fbclid=IwAR2uVE3anCjr5EvpUerTiD6JZxCAENR83-xIRz3TRzAfRuGckyYFzRqnobM, https://storiesoftheunsolved.com/2020/11/27/the-disappearance-of-sydney-west/. I find myself returning to that time in my life and wondering if this is the way Im supposed to go, or if the survival instinct will continue to win. Even so, bridge foreman Arthur Olson caught up with the stuntman as the crowd gathered, and grabbed him, but lost his grip, only succeeding in ripping free one of the harnesses. Golden Gate Bridge, suspension bridge spanning the Golden Gate in California to link San Francisco with Marin county to the north. It may feel 100% true to him. I tried to help her, I really did Except I didnt. SFGATE news editor Amy Graff contributed to this report. Here Are My Reasons. I want you to know you are loveable and precious. Sydneyhas not used her phone, social media or bank accounts since she disappeared. Thanks for sharing, Anne. r/redsox. If I make it, Ill have publicity and be on my way, Rhodes told a friend who later testified at the coroners inquest. I woke up on my own after my first attempt. I fantasize a lot about suicide. Everything says Get help. A vigil was held last week for West in Pleasanton. :A Follow-up Study of Suicide Attempters fromthe Golden Gate Bridge.. It is always wonderful to hear from someone who made it out to the other side. Cookie Notice I mean how long can I go ahead. The most intuitive reason is that suicidal crises are, by their nature, temporary. Berkeley when she went missing on September 30, 2020. Someone may have seen something -- any piece of information could help lead us to Sydney," parents Kimberly and Jay West said in a joint statement. Even for people who passionately wish and perhaps even need (for health reasons) to lose weight, they do not always prevail. A couple hours. I tried commiting suicide and ended up brain dead Then after I got out of the coma, I was put in rehab for 11 months where I kept trying to break my neck and die because I missed my fiance so much (he wasnt allowed to visit me because he had attempted suicide with me too since he didnt want to live without me). Whether ones anchor to life is children or some other passion, it is a gift to have a reason for living that outweighs suicidal thoughts. Its always women telling men what we should be. "There were many people in that vicinity during that time," said Mr. West. But in reality, he cant know what the future holds. Such an assumption would be wrong. Her family still has hope that they will one day find her. He has no one else but me. Maybe some of the posts on this site could be helpful to him? He had lost two fingers in a knife fight on the set of the movie "Scarface." If all else fails do something drastic. This case has always stuck with me because I am in my 20s and suffer from anxiety and depression. Clad in two suits, weighted boots, football padding, another rubber suit and a football helmet that onlookers described as giving him a man-from-Mars look, Rhodes also had three parachutes on his back to ease his fall. You also can find other places to get help by phone, email, chat, or text at http://www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources/#immediatehelp. We cannot overlook that 10% of people who survive a suicide attempt do go on to die by suicide. After he was rescued, he continued to live, and lives still, serving as a suicide prevention advocate at the national level. Required fields are marked *. I tried to commit suicide when I was 18. Dont believe anyone who tells you differently. Dayna. Sure if youve got someone/s to bail you out after your attempt, yeah youve got a reason to live. The ongoing survival of people who attempt suicide is not (always) inevitable. Friends and family may rally to their side. The San Francisco Police Department's tip line can be reached at 415-575-4444. He and his wife lived in Tracy and had an adorable . She was last seen wearing a light teal hoodie, dark leggings, and slip-on vans sneakers with dark green and black print. Being a freshman and isolated on campus due to the COVID pandemic was hard for West, her family said. In the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Hines got a running start . I fully expected to talk to her the next day, Jay West told KRON4. Thank you for providing this site. Precious few people survive such a fall; the water about 200 feet below acts the same as concrete when a person lands on it at high speed. He managed to turn himself upright in the few seconds it took for him to hit the water; this way, he did not land on his head. It was a serious, intentional attempt to end my own life. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts. And half of people who die by suicide had attempted suicide at least once previously. West is 5'10" and slender at 130 pounds, with blue eyes and light brown hair. "On Aug. 20, 1985, I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and I survived." Ken Baldwin was 28 years old and had just started a family. 2023 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines has stated: The very second I let go, I knew I had made a big mistake.. Suicide isnt an option, keep telling yourself that. Comments RSS Feed, My name is Denis and I live in England I am still recovering at the moment on 22nd of April 2020 I attempted to end my life I jumped off a 5 story carpark and survived I broke my left leg in 3 places and my right ankle in 6 places and my back in 2 places but I am lucky because I am recovering well and I can walk .people say its a mircle but I feel gulty because no one knew about the thoughts I was having for years because I did not tell any one to the outside world I was the life and soul of the party .I feel ashamed that now every one is worried about me and that is not what I wanted. A little over four years ago I couldnt see an end to the emotional pain and despair I felt and became obsessed with thoughts of killing myself: another failed marriage, another lost job, another lost home, my girlfriend left me and just as we seemed to be getting back together died of a stroke. . Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, is the author of the books Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals and Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. what can I do. The entire bridge in covered with CCTV cameras monitored 24/7, and footage is retained for 6 months as it is federal land and monitored by Homeland Security. Your pain matters. Its complicated, Bay Area city cracks top 10 best for sleep: US News, JV talked about health struggles before disappearance, Martinez residents warned not to eat food grown in, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. At the time, a made for TV movie, named Silence of the Heart came out. The night before she disappeared (Sept. 29) she and her father Jay West had a lengthy phone conversation according to her family. You definitely are not alone, and it does often feel good to be honest about suicidal thoughts to speak what many people consider to be the unspeakable. She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. For his big ticket to stardom, Rhodes was inspired by a circus performer named Frank Cushing who was plucked out of the bay the previous year after claiming that he had just leaped from the bridge, though no one was there to see it. Somehow I survived. I live with a higher purpose now, but prior to my children I went through hell and constantly entertained the thought of killing myself. Footage in the area, according to a website the family recently set up in light of her disappearance, was blocked by fog and morning haze. More often than not, the crisis passes. And now Ive been out of rehab for 5 months and its weird because all a sudden everything is going my way now. In 2013, Briggs retired from the California Highway . "We know that there was a lot of pedestrian, car and bicycle traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge the morning Sydney disappeared. Good luck to you, Joan. The longitude and latitude for the Bridge location is approximately: N 37 Degrees, 49 Minutes, 8.0 Seconds --- W 122 Degrees, 28 Minutes, 40.6 Seconds. It was in 1984. Youve been through an enormous amount. I am a suicide survivor from India. His father had died by suicide and even though I knew all of this, I couldnt see the forest through the trees. Dressed in a blue sweatshirt, leggings and Vans slip-on sneakers,. Dusty thought he could do the same but let everyone see it, and so employed the services of his pal, Hollywood cameraman Jose Guzman, to capture the jump on film. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. I once attributed that simply to having realized I wanted to live and (narrowly) surving my attempt. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. How could I have been so stupid? When I woke up a day later, my depression had greatly improved. Theres people who love you and want you to keep pushing even if your soul reason is living to not put them through that heartache. But then they are stopped from jumping. Indie Pop Star Michelle Lambert Kicks Off the Bankhead Courtyard Concert Series! Case Contact Information: SFPD at 415-575-444 or text TIP411 (Start your message with SFPD) Or contact: private investigator Scott Dudek at 925-705-8328 or dudek.associates@gmail.com, *there is a reward for information that leads to her location and return, For more info: https://findsydneywest.com/ Facebook: Find Sydney West Instagram @find_sydney_west Polly Klaas Foundation: https://www.pollyklaas.org/missing-children/sydney-west/, Sources: https://pleasantonweekly.com/news/2021/09/30/what-a-week-find-sydney-west https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/searching-for-sydney-san-francisco-police-still-asking-for-publics-help/?fbclid=IwAR2uVE3anCjr5EvpUerTiD6JZxCAENR83-xIRz3TRzAfRuGckyYFzRqnobM https://storiesoftheunsolved.com/2020/11/27/the-disappearance-of-sydney-west/. I am dead broke, have exhausted both my savings and retirement stash, I am about to have my car repod and cant find a job. I think this message needs to be made more clear and put in ads, etc. I am resigned to staying alive until I die in some other way. Copyright 2013 Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, All Rights Reserved. Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. 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